Trust in Marriage

The man was in his 30’s. He had been married about five years, and they were expecting a baby. Yet he said his wife did not trust him at all. I asked the inevitable question: “Is there a reason she doesn’t trust you?” He repeatedly replied no. He had never cheated on her, and never looked at anyone the way she claimed he did. She will not even talk to him about it, except to constantly accuse him of wanting other women.

Realizing I was only getting one side of the story, I listened, and had no real reason to doubt his story. When I asked if there was time when she did trust him, he replied he didn’t think she ever had. That made me wonder how such a wedding took place in the first place. Now, with a baby on the way, their situation is not very bright.

There cannot be too much talking prior to a wedding. Not just about the emotional part; that is usually not the problem. The conversations should be about habits, the past, and fears. No surprises! It’s best to get everything in the open up front, or trouble is likely on the way. When that is done up front, trust then begins with that honesty. In addition one party doesn’t feel deceived if something from the past sneaks into the present.

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