Plan for It

What if you knew ahead of time someone would treat you badly, but you just didn’t know who or when? If you expected to have a hard time sometime in the future, what would you do about it? You can’t do anything about what hasn’t happened yet.

The point is, we know it’s going to happen. We know we are going to run into trouble sooner or later. If we knew when, we would stress out and become either frantic or depressed. Not knowing allows us to live even while knowing we won’t always have good days. This isn’t about dreading the next problem, but about not being surprised when it comes.

I have learned a good way to control anger at a particular person is to lower my expectations toward them. If I no longer expect them to act a certain way, I am not off-guard when they don’t. It has made a huge difference in my ability to keep their behavior in perspective. I ask myself “What would cause a person to act that way?” Just the thought that there is something behind it takes the focus off me, and on what load they may be carrying. This is not meant for us to become pessimistic about people or the world, but if we can recognize we are all flawed, we won’t act as if we should all be perfect.

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